Clearing out these patterns is imperative to have good relationships. Here are ten patterns that continue to show up in relationships. I am sure there are more; however, these seem to be the most common.

Pattern 1. Since you have built your first relationship with your parents, you tend to recreate their personalities as accurately as possible in your relationships.

Pattern 2. You tend to recreate in your other relationships the kind of relationship you had with your parents.

Pattern 3. You tend to imitate the relationship your parents had with each other.

Pattern 4. Because most of us are used to a large dose of parental disapproval, we tend to let things go wrong so that our partner disapproves of us too.

Pattern 5. You try to get your parents to pay by using your friend or someone else to do it. If your partner doesn’t allow this, you may be using your kids for it.

Pattern 6. Most people unconsciously want to remain helpless children for the rest of their lives. A conflict arises when both want to be a child at the same time, and have the other as a parent.

Pattern 7. Because most people are used to the fight they had with their parents, a totally successful easy relationship is often too ordinary and threatening.

Pattern 8. Repressed incestuous desires are always a barrier to sexual affection. The point where you couldn’t face your sexual feelings for your parent (or she for you) is the point where your sexuality was inhibited.

Pattern 9. Self-loathing and guilt tend to already punish yourself by taking out any of the following: your body – your sex life – your career – your boyfriend – your finances – your car. In other words, you tend to ruin your relationship with the above in order to punish yourself for something.
The guilt and self-loathing can go so far that you think you separated yourself from God by taking on a body, or you think you’re evil because you hurt your mother when you were born.
This goes very deep. Of course, it could be due to anything that you thought was wrong. Children often accuse themselves of their parents’ divorce, or of their death, for example. Another way to punish yourself is not to allow yourself to receive what you deserve: never to get anything good.
The most common way to do this is to ruin your body with obesity, pain, or disease. All this results in the thought.
I hate myself. I am bad. And then you will attract someone who will prove this.

Pattern 10. You draw someone who fits your patterns. For example, if you have a pattern that says, “Men abandon me,” you will tend to attract someone with a runaway pattern.

You will find a much greater satisfaction when you clear your patterns. Then, instead of attracting someone who fits your patterns, you can attract someone who is in harmony with your highest spiritual thoughts.