Get Clear About Sex

Sexual pleasure isn’t just about technique—it’s about permission. Most of us could experience far more pleasure than we do, but the real barrier isn’t knowledge; it’s our willingness to receive it.

Self-Worth & Pleasure Go Hand in Hand

A fulfilling sex life starts with self-esteem. If you don’t believe you deserve pleasure, you’ll unconsciously limit it. Think of it this way: The pleasure you allow yourself is the pleasure you’ll experience.

Forget Performance—Focus on Honesty

We’ve been bombarded with so much advice on "how to please a partner" that sex has become a performance, not a connection. Here’s the truth: The best sex happens when both partners take responsibility for their own pleasure.

How? By:

• Communicating openly – Say what feels good (and what doesn’t).

• Taking turns – Fully focus on giving or receiving—no guessing, no pressure.

• Dropping the act – If you’re honest, there’s no need to wonder, "Are they enjoying this?"

Clear Your Sexual Blocks

Many of us carry subconscious beliefs that sex is dirty, dangerous, or forbidden. But sex is innocent—it’s our thoughts about it that create problems. To shift this:

• Write down negative beliefs (e.g., "Sex is shameful").

• Reframe them as affirmations ("My pleasure is natural and joyful").

Stay Present—Sex Is Energy

A simple but game-changing tip: When you’re having sex, actually think about sex. Many people mentally wander (to chores, errands, or worries). Instead:

• Focus on sensation – Direct all attention to where you’re being touched.

• Sync your focus – During foreplay, both partners concentrate on the receiver’s pleasure. Two minds amplifying one body’s sensation creates powerful energy.

You Can Always Pause & Adjust

Sex isn’t a script—it’s a conversation. If something isn’t working:

• Stop and talk – You don’t have to "push through."

• Ask for what you want – The more specific you are, the better it gets.

Breathe—It’s the Secret to Deeper Pleasure

Holding your breath during sex? You’re cutting off energy. Deep breathing:

• Intensifies sensation.

• Helps you surrender to pleasure (especially if you’ve healed birth trauma).

• It can even prolong orgasms when timed right.

Rebirthing together? Even better—it unlocks a new level of intimacy and safety.

Final Truth: Pleasure Is Your Birthright

The more you release shame, communicate openly, and stay present, the richer your sexual experiences become. You’re not just having sex—you’re exchanging energy, joy, and connection. So breathe, focus, and let yourself receive.

Original text:

Get Clear on Sex

Get clear about sex. Most of us could learn to receive a lot more pleasure than we are now experiencing. The key to this is your willingness to have it. To have a good sex life, you must have high self-esteem. If you have a low opinion of yourself, you won’t think you deserve sexual pleasure. Another way of looking at this is to say that you will have only as much pleasure in sex as you are willing to give yourself.

These days, people have read so much about sexual technique that both men and women are self-conscious and worried about gratifying their partners. What works best in bed is pleasing yourself. By this, I mean that the partners can agree to be responsible for their orgasms by telling each other what is most pleasurable and taking turns in giving and receiving. If you agree to be completely honest about your desires and your responses, then there is never any need to wonder about whether your partner is happy or bored, satisfied or frustrated, tired or turned on.

Sexual fulfilment

Of course, sexual fulfilment requires you to get rid of all your old negative thoughts about sex being dirty, dangerous, forbidden, scary, or whatever. Sex is innocent! It is all those old negatives we attach to it that mess us up. You can start clearing them now by writing down all your negative thoughts about sex and turning them into affirmations.

Think about sex

This may seem obvious, but it is very important: When you are having sex, it helps to think about sex (many people think about the dry cleaning, the garbage, the kids, and the shopping instead). Focus your whole attention on the area of your body that is being touched. During foreplay, when you are taking turns pleasuring each other, both people should be concentrating their attention on the person receiving. I focus my attention on the area of my body being touched, and my partner focuses his attention on the area of my body being touched; then we switch. Two minds focused on one body make very powerful sexual energy, and sex is energy. The purer your energy, the purer and greater the sexual experience.

It helps to remind yourself that you can stop and talk during a sexual experience, especially if it is not going the way you want. For some reason, people behave as if, once they start, they can’t change it or talk about it until it is over. Communication is important. You have to learn to ask for what you like.

Breath always

Some people tend to hold their breath during lovemaking. Believe me, you can take in a lot more love if you are breathing!

And it is a wonderful time to Rebirth yourself together if you have learned how to do that. Sex is different once you have resolved your birth trauma. For one thing, it suddenly becomes safe to let go totally; you can surrender because you know nothing is lurking down there that is scary or sad. For another, your breathing is adjusted, and you can handle a lot more energy and pleasure as a result. You can even learn to control your orgasms and make them last longer by holding your breath at certain times.